Better To Have Loved and Lost
by CBloom2
Summary: Hurt Ethan fic (Surprise!) Loosely based on spoilers from the Winter trailer - and I mean loosely! Cal and Alicia will feature too.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, remember me? I've been struck by a splash of inspiration (not sure how long it will last, so let's run with it)**

 **This is very loosly based on spoilers from the winter trailer but I'm sure it will turn out nothing like this.**

 **As always it's involving Cal and Ethan, with a smattering of Alicia in this one, although by the end of it you may not like her very much (and me, sorry Alicia fans). And as usual, I will be hurting my favourite character, so if you don't like it or find it tedious, then look away now!**

 **I don't own anyone that you recognise. If I did we wouldn't be subjected to this awful 'triangle' storyline.**

 **Better To Have Loved and Lost...**

Ethan sat by the computer tapping his pen on his bottom lip. New Year's Eve in the ED - how had he got roped in to doing that? Oh yes, he volunteered - what an idiot!

He hadn't been particularly busy, thank goodness, but he knew that it was just the calm before the storm and that in a couple more hours the department would be inundated with highly intoxicated revellers. He finished writing is notes and keyed in the relevent data into the computer then just looked around him.

"Cup of tea Ethan?" he heard from in front of him. He started slightly at the interruption, then smiled when he saw Lily's natural smile, "Yes thank you Lily, that would be lovely. Noel, Dr Chao and I are just going to the staff room while we have a moment," he told the receptionist.

"No problem Dr Hardy. I'll come and get you if you're needed," he reassured the two doctors.

Once in the staff room, Ethan proceeded to make the tea as Lily watched him carefully, "You could take a picture Lily, it would last longer," Ethan joked as he became aware of her staring.

"What's going on with you?" She asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Why would anything be 'going on with me'?" he replied.

"You seem different...I can't put my finger on it," she mused, "Are you seeing someone?"

Ethan ducked his head as Lily's eyes lit up, "That's it! That's what's different. You are seeing someone aren't you?"  
"Kind of," he told her, "It's complicated," he sighed.

"Oh come on Ethan, you don't do complicated," his friend shot back.

"I do this time," he conceeded, "I've been seeing Alicia."

Ethan wanted to laugh at the expression on his friend's face, but it was to serious an admission to laugh about it.

"But she's with Cal."

"I know, and I was fine with that. I even told him a few months ago that we were never going to be compatable, which meant that Cal could persue her, but just lately..." Ethan ran a hand through his hair, "Cal's hasn't been treating her properly and I hate seeing her so upset...but I hate myself more for doing this to Cal."

"Like he hasn't done it himself," Lily blurted out, immediately looking sorry for her outburst.

"I know he has. He's done it on numerous occasions, particularly with girls that I've liked - but two wrongs don't make a right."

"What are you going to do?"

"I've got to tell him, before he hears it from some do-gooder who gets the story all wrong," Ethan told her sadly.

Before Lily could say anything else, Noel burst through the door, "Doctors come quick!"

They both ran out of the door to see Louise helping a young man in obvious discomfort, clutching his arm that was dripping blood, "Get him to resus..." Ethan started, but the man grabbed hold of the young doctors arm.

"You've got to help her," he insisted.

"Who? Who have we got to help?" Ethan pushed.

The man looked him straight in the eye, "That hot young doctor...he's going to kill her..."

Ethan and Lily traded shocked glances, "He must mean Alicia! Take him to resus Lily..."  
"What are you going to do? Ethan?" Lily shouted as her friend began to run towards the doors.

"I'm going to find her!" And he was gone.

Ethan dashed into the freezing night air, frantically looking around for any signs of Alicia. Who would want to hurt her? And why come to the hospital? It just didn't make sense.

Ethan couldn't see anyone vaguely resembling Alicia in the general area, so he began to make his way round the back of the hospital. As he rounded the second corner, he jumped as he came face to face with a man not much older than he was at first glance, "Sir, are you alright? I'm a doctor, do you need any help?"

Even in the dim light of a security light on the back wall of the hospital, Ethan could see the sneer on the man's face, "It's to late for that. You doctors think you're god - well you're not! You're just flesh and blood like me and you let her die..."

Ethan's reply died on his lips as he felt a sharp pain in his chest. The man grabbed him and pulled him towards himself, then twisted his hand and pushed the young doctor away from him. He spun on his heel and took off in the opposite direction - not once glancing back at the now slumped young man he left in his wake.

Meanwhile, in resus, Lily was just putting the finishing touches to some stitches in the young man's arm, "You were very lucky. The knife didn't hit anything major. It will be uncomfortable for a while but that is all."

The man nodded, "Can I go now?"

"I think the police may want to speak with you," she told him.

"Why would they want to do that?" he demanded, his anxiety obvious to see.

"Well you saw one of our doctors being attacked, they will want to question you."

"He gave me a hundred quid to tell you..."

"Excuse me?" Lily was confused.

"The guy...outside...he gave me a hundred quid and told me to come in here a get a doctor to go outside..." the young man babbled.

"Why would he do that?" Louise demanded as she took out her phone and sent a quick text to her friend.

"I don't know. He just said that he wanted to see a doctor..."

Louise glanced at her phone when the message alert went off. She read the message, then looked up at Lily, her face full of fear, "Alicia's in the pub and has been for two hours..."

"So where's Ethan?" Lily and Louise dashed from the room.

 **So where is Ethan? Any ideas? I'm not sure how long this story is. I've got a basic outline but if anyone has any ideas, I would be happy to hear them.**

 **Not sure how quickly the updates will be as I'm writing this as I'm thinking it so we'll see.**

 **Just in case I don't update before the new year, I would like to wish you all a very happy new year. I hope 2017 brings you good health and happiness.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Happy New Year everyone, hope you had a great new years eve. Just watched the episode and really felt for Ethan with regards to Cal, and I wonder if he'll stick to his resolution. What I do want to know however, is why the writers are turning Cal back into a selfish idiot? We have seen some real flashes of caring, big brother Cal yet the writers insist on dragging him back down to the level he was at when we first met him (in my opinion obviously).**

 **Anyway, enough ranting. Thank you so much to everyone who read the first chapter and reviewed or favourited the story. I'm so glad that you haven't deserted me. Here is chapter two...**

 **Chapter 2**

Cal was brooding.

He picked up his glass of whisky, watching the amber liquid as it swirled around in the glass. Laughter from the other side of the bar made him look up and also caused his stomach to clench as he watched his girlfriend laughing, joking and flirting with their colleagues. He really liked Alicia. She was no strings attached fun, although not so much fun when she had asked him to go to Christmas dinner with her warring parents, but she had accepted his excuse for not supporting her even if he had stretched the truth slightly.

What had crept up on him however, was feelings that he hadn't expected. When they had first got together, it had been a bit of fun. She hadn't been looking for anything permanent and neither had he. He had been aware that his brother had had feelings for her and for once the older brother hadn't muscled his way in, but when it had become apparant that Ethan wasn't going to act on those feelings (he had told Cal as much), Cal decided to act on his own. But just lately, things had changed. Cal could feel himself falling for her. Every waking moment was spent thinking about her (when he wasn't preoccupied with work) and he knew that his relationship with Alicia could become something more permanent. He'd contemplated proposing to her. He'd even got as far as looking at rings and planning a big production...until he had found the cufflink on her bedroom floor.

Obviously he questioned her about it and almost believed her when she said that she didn't know anything about it. But he knew who it belonged to. He had bought the exact same ones for his brother as a birthday present and a quick check of Ethans's room, while he was at work one day, confirmed the fact that he was missing a cufflink - which could only mean one thing...he little brother was having an affair with his girlfriend!

Part of him felt almost proud of his brother, after all Cal was quite accomplished at doing the same thing without a second thought about the consequences. The other part of him was livid. How dare they both do that to him.

"Are you going to join us grumpy?" he heard his girlfriend's playful tones.

"In a minute. I'm just waiting for Sneezy and Sleepy," he half smiled.

Alicia burst into peals of laughter as she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek, "Come and join us. You never know, it might be your night if you play those cards right," she told him huskily.

"I'll finish this and get the next round in," he told her as she untangled herself and made her way back to the group, glancing over her shoulder and blowing him a kiss.

Normally that would have sent him into overdrive but tonight he just shook his head as he swirled his drink once more. How could she? How could she carry on as if nothing is happening with him while all the while she's having an affair with his brother?

Suddenly Cal began to realise that the love and respect that he thought was there was actually starting to diminish - she was playing them both. He needed to put a stop to it sooner rather than later. He also needed to let his little brother know what she was like even though he knew it would hurt him. Cal had been on the receiving end more times that he cared to admit but he knew that it would affect Ethan more. He could imagine that now Ethan would be struggling with his emotions due to the fact that he'd never done anything like have an affair before, so if he knew that Alicia was playing them both...Ethan did not need that type of stress on top of everything else that he was dealing with. He made a decision there and then. He got to his feet ready to confront Alicia, only to have fate get in the way once more.

Louise barrelled through the door, almost taking it off it's hinges, "Alicia!" she shouted, gaining the young doctor's attention, "Are you alright?" the nurse demanded, breathing heavily from her exertion.

Alicia looked surprised, "Erm yeah...why wouldn't I be?"

By this time silence had descended on the pub, "Some guy came into the ED, his arm dripping with blood. He said that you were being attacked - Ethan..."

Cal's ears pricked up on hearing his brother's name, "What about Ethan?" he demanded, a knot forming in his stomach.

Louise looked at Cal, fear evident on her face, "Ethan left the department to find Alicia...that was half a hour ago...he hasn't been back..."

A collective gasp was heard throughout the pub as Cal blocked out everything and everybody and stormed out of the building, all angry thoughts about his brother had melted away into fear for his safety.

Suddenly, he was aware that everyone had followed him out of the pub. He felt a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry Cal, we'll find him," Charlie reassured him.

The young doctor set off round the East side of the building, his heart pounding with every footstep - anxiety coursing through his body as minute after minute passed by without finding any trace of his brother.

"Cal!" He heard Max's voice from just in front of him. He dashed the the direction of his voice and found the young porter clutching a mobile phone - Ethan's phone.

Cal dragged in a deep breath as nausea washed over him - what could have happened to his brother?

Cal and Max rounded the next corner together.

The older man' s heart missed a beat.

Slumped against the wall was his little brother, dark liquid pooling round him. After a split second of shock, both young men leapt into action, Cal reaching his unresponsive brother first. There wasn't much light where they were, but there was enough to show Cal that the younger man was in serious trouble, "Max, go on ahead - I need a stretcher...now!"


	3. Chapter 3

**HI all, sorry it's taken so long for the next chapter, but I'm back at work after the Christmas break so I'm a bit shattered and I've kind of started losing inspiration for finishing it, but I will try my best.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read it whether you have reviewed it or not, I appreciate it very much.**

Chapter 3

Max took off running at a dead sprint at the tone in Cal's voice. Cal meanwhile, scooped his brother up in his arms and began to make his way to the ED as quickly as he could. As he got nearer the hospital, the lighting was getting brighter. Cal's breath caught when he saw the mass of red swallowing his brother's green scrub top. Tears pricked the older brother's eyes as he glanced once more at his prone little brother, "Hang in there Ethan...please...not like this..."

He became vaguely aware of the cracking and banging of fireworks all around him and realised that they must have gone past midnight, "Some happy new year this is little brother," he gasped as the dead weight that he was carrying seemed to grow heavier with every step he took.

Before long a trolley appeared with Max and Charlie in tow. Cal gently laid his brother on it then began pushing it straight away.

They burst through the doors to be met by Lily, who was already gloved up, "Oh my...Ethan," she gasped. Almost as quickly as it left her, the professional doctor emerged once more, "Can anyone tell me what happened?" she asked as she guided them to Resus. Charlie immediately grabbed some gloves, as did Cal, "No Cal, not this time," Charlie advised gently.

Cal looked ready to argue, but one glance towards his brother, whose scrub top was now cut open exposing a gaping knife wound, soon put paid to any arguments. He nodded slightly and took a couple of shaky steps back trying to still his trembling hands.

Suddenly, more staff rushed into Resus, all jumping to attention as Lily barked her orders, "His lung has collapsed. We need a chest drain...page surgery, this wound needs surgery..."

Cal felt his legs begin to let him down as he watched Lily insert the drain. He was thrust back into that awful memory of when he had had to perform the same proceedure on his brother.

He felt someone gently take his hand. He glanced down and noticed that Alicia had joined him, her own face pale and pinched with worry, "Oh my...Cal what happened?"

Normally upon seeing a young woman in such distress, Cal would automatically comfort her, soothe the anxiety away, but not today - today he had more pressing things to deal with.

"He got stabbed. Apparently he was out there trying to help you," he finished.

Alicia's hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob, "Is he going to be alright?"

"He needs surgery, so who knows..." Cal replied, dragging his hand from out of hers - staring intently at his brother.

Lily approached him, "He's stable for now. Looks like the cold actually stopped him from losing to much blood, but obviously a by product of that is that his slightly hypothermic but the surgeons have told us that they can take care of that. I'm sure he'll make a full recovery Cal. We're taking him to theatre now. I suggest you go and get some rest," she advised as the surgical nurses came for Ethan.

Lily watched them leave and blew out a long breath that she hadn't realised she had been holding.

Cal noticed how weary and worried she looked and pulled her into a hug," Thank you Lily."

For once, Lily didn't pull away, "Just doing my job," she told him, desperately trying to cover her own shaking hands.

Cal nodded and smiled slightly at her, "I'm going to the staff room while I wait - I can't go home just yet," he told her and Alicia.

"Can I join you?" Alicia asked tentatively.

"I guess so," was all Cal said.

The two doctors walked into the staff room and Alicia immediately filled the kettle. She kept glancing at Cal, surprised by just how worried he really was about his brother, "He's going to be alright Cal - you heard Lily."

Cal shrugged, not meeting her eyes, "What's got into you Cal? I know you're worried about Ethan, but you have barely looked at me or spoken to me all night..."

Cal dragged in a deep breath, "Of course I'm worried about Ethan, " he ground out, "But you just carry on like nothing has happened!"

Alicia looked confused, "I don't know what you mean..."

"I bet you don't!" he spat out.

Alicia was surprised by his tone but decided to leave him until he was ready to talk, which turned out to be not that long.

"I know about you and Ethan," he told her, now watching her face intently.

Before Alicia could say anything, she watched him retrieve something from out of his pocket, "I found this on your bedroom floor," he showed her the cufflink, "I know it's Ethans because I bought them for his birthday and when I checked at home, one of them was missing," he was breathing a little heavier, trying to control his emotions.

"Look Cal, it's not what you think..." Alicia began.

"Oh I'm sure it isn't. Ethan just happened to drop his cufflink while...what? Putting up a shelf?"

He took a small amount of satisfaction at seeing Alicia's face crumple, but not as much as he'd expected.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Oh I don't know, how about the truth?" Cal demanded.

Now it was Alicia's turn to take a deep breath as she looked him in the eye, "It wasn't planned...Ethan had told me at Christmas that he loved me, but that he couldn't and wouldn't do anything about it because I was with you and he wouldn't hurt you. Then you stole his Africa presentation - he was so angry Cal, I've never seen him like that. He came over to the flat ranting about it, then he went on about you letting me down and hurting me and that he couldn't bear it - then one thing led to another..."

"Do you love him?" Cal demanded.

"What? I..." Alicia stammered.

"It's simple enough Alicia, do you love him?"

"I don't know," Alicia answered honestly, "I like you both..."

"Well you're going to have to make a decision Alicia because you can't have us both like you have been for the last couple of weeks. You also need to know all the facts..."

"What does that mean?" she asked in confusion.

Before he could answer, Lily walked into the staff room, "Ethan's out of theatre..."

 **Had planned to finish this with chapter 3 but it kind of got away with me, so probably one more chapter will do it. I hope I can get it posted quicker than I did this one.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you once again for the lovely reviews for the previous chapter. I'm glad you liked it. I'm making this the last chapter hope I do it justice. If there are any Alicia fans out there, I'm sorry if you don't like what I've done with her in this chapter.**

 **Chapter 4**

Cal shifted uncomfortably in the small, plastic chair that he had been left with. The dimmed lighting wasn't helping him in his battle to stay awake after the long night he'd had.

He had sent Alicia home. If he was honest, she had started to get on his last nerve with her sobbing apologies. He had been angry and disappointed in both her and his brother, which was an emotion that he never thought he'd feel with regards to Ethan.

He glanced up at the bed once more. Ethan's eyes remained stubbornly closed. Cal wished they were open so that he could see for himself what the doctors had told him, that his little brother was going to be fine. But then, what would he say to him when he was awake? He'd slept with HIS girlfriend! He'd lied to him - gone behind his back! Cal let his head fall back as he let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes willing himself to relax.

"Cal."

That one word was all it took for any residual anger and disappointment to be pushed out of his mind. He immediately got to his feet and moved towards the bed, "Hey," he smiled, "It's good to see those eyes open."

Ethan blinked, "I'm sorry Cal, " he whispered.

Cal stiffened, "What are you sorry for?" He wondered if Ethan was going to own up.

"For taking off, for being so stupid..."

Cal touched is arm gently, "Hey, don't worry, it's all good - you rest," he advised.

"No Cal...I need to tell you something..."

"No need. I know!" Cal responded as he got off the bed.

Although he had taken a certain amount of satisfaction from seeing Alicia's shocked face, he didn't take any from seeing his brothers.

He was brought out of his musings by a gasp. He spun round to see Ethan trying to sit up. He strode back to his side, "Don't Ethan, you'll hurt yourself," he told him gently.

"Let me explain..." Ethan insisted, even though he could barely keep his eyes open.

"You told me you didn't want a relationship with her, " Cal blurted out, "That's why I asked her out!"

"I know. I just didn't think that we could work. We were so different, and that had worked out for me so well in the past. But I never stopped having feelings for her. I tried to stop them - tried to push them down, but I couldn't. Please believe me Cal I never meant to hurt you - I couldn't and wouldn't willingly hurt you in any way," Ethan finished, almost gasping as he got more worked up.

Cal sat down on the bed next to him, "Ethan calm down. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. No matter what we've done to each other, I know you wouldn't purposely hurt me. But I won't lie to you - it hurt me more than I thought it would because I'd developed deep feelings for Alicia too, and that you could do this to me...but to be honest Ethan, I'm just so damn glad that you're alive after tonight! Do you love Alicia?"

Ethan looked at him through half closed eyes, "Yes I do."

Cal nodded slowly, thinking back to what Alicia had said about not being sure if she loved Ethan. He felt a hand on his arm, "Please don't hate me," Ethan pleaded.

Cal patted his hand, "I could never hate you. You're my little brother. One thing though Ethan, you need to tell Alicia the truth about everything - and I mean everything."

Ethan nodded, "You're right. I'll speak to her soon."

"Ok, now you get some rest. I'll stay with you."

Ethan shook his head, "You go home. You need your rest too. You look exhausted."

"I don't want to leave you..." Cal told him worridly.

"I'm not going anywhere, " Ethan answered, his eyes almost closed.

"I know, I just...Tell you what, scoot over - I'll get some rest, just like when we were kids," he said as he helped Ethan slide over a little. He then climbed onto the bed and settled himself next to his already slumbering brother.

He watched him for a few minutes, just thinking how lucky he was that Ethan was still with him and no matter what had gone on before he was going to make sure that nothing and no-one ever hurt his brother again.

He couldn't help himself as he leant down and planted a small kiss on the younger man's head, the relief he felt almost palpable.

Cal was pacing again. This time he was pacing up and down outside a particular hospital room. Alicia had gone in to see Ethan about half a hour ago. Ethan had been getting stronger over the last few days and although Alicia had visited every day, today was the day that Ethan had felt strong enough to tell her about the Huntingtons.

He glanced at his watch for about the hundreth time, deciding that he would get some coffee to pass on some time.

As he came back with his cup, he saw Ethan's door open and Alicia slide out quietly. She looked up at him as he walked down the corridor, her eyes bloodshot, "What? Is he alright?" Cal demanded.

"Define 'alright'?" Alicia countered quietly.

Cal looked confused, "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked him, "You knew that Ethan was my friend before anything else."

"It's not for me to tell. We've been through a lot in this past year, Ethan more so than me. It's up to him who finds out..."  
"I wish he hadn't told me," Alicia gulped.

"He told you because you and he are starting a relationship. It wouldn't be right if you didn't know..."

"How can we start a relationship now?" Alicia asked.

"There's no reason why you can't. You just have to remember to use protection when you need it. Luckily it's Ethan, so he would be super organised anyway," Cal added with a smile.

"And what happens when..." she trailed off, unable to finish.

"We cross that bridge when we get to it. Look it wouldn't be just you on your own dealing with his illness, I'm going to be there every step of the way," Cal assured her.

"Oh yes, we all know how good you are at sticking around when things get tough," she countered.

Cal was taken aback by the tone in her voice - he didn't like it, not one bit.

"I have told him that I will be there for him, and I will! He's taken care of me, picked me up when I've fallen by the wayside and so now it's my turn."

Alicia started to leave, "Tell him I'll call him soon," she told Cal, who caught her arm pulling her to a stop.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

The younger doctor burst into tears again, "I can't do it Cal. I've treated Huntingtons patients, I've seen what it does to people. I can't watch everything that Ethan is being slowly eaten away by the disease - it's to much."

"What are you saying Alicia? Are you dumping him?" he demanded angrily.

"It wouldn't be right for me to string him along when I know that I can't do what would be expected of me...so yeah, I guess I am dumping him - although we haven't really been in a relationship yet..."

"Alicia you can't! He loves you, he told me. It would break his heart."

"Surely it's better for it to end now before we get any deeper into it, then to encourage him to believe that there's a chance when really there isn't?"

Alicia looked at him through tear soaked eyes, "I know that makes me a coward..."

"I was thinking more like a 'cow'," Cal bit back.

"I am sorry you feel that way Cal, but it's for the best," she told him as she carried on down the corridor, "Please tell him I'm sorry. He's a lovely guy, one of the best."

With that, she was gone. Ethan never woke up for the rest of that day.

The following morning dawned with the news that Alicia had handed in her resignation, effective immediately. Cal was shocked, then he was worried - how would his brother handle the news.

Actually Ethan handled it quite well as it turned out. Cal thought that his brother had expected to hear something like that, but it didn't make it any easier.

A few weeks later, Ethan was back at work, all be it on modified duty. He was so glad to be back even though he knew it would be hard not seeing Alicia around the department. Ethan knew that his brother was keeping an eye on him, for which he was grateful, even if he didn't show it.

"Hey Ethan, you up for coming on my stag night tonight?" Charlie asked him hopefully. Cal had confided in the older man, so he knew what the brothers had been dealing with over the last few weeks, "It's only a few drinks - nothing to taxing...I hope," he smiled.

Ethan wasn't really feeling in the mood for partying, but he knew how much Charlie had helped his brother and how fond of him he was, so he agreed.

Later that day, the men of the ED all met outside the hospital ready to board the minibus, "You sure you're up for this?" Cal asked his brother, who was still being very quiet.

Ethan smiled up at him, "I'll be fine Cal," he assured the older man.

They sat in their seats - Ethan by the window as always, and they set off.

The bus was noisy, but not as noisy as it would be on the way home Ethan thought. He laid his head on the window as he watched the world go by. He was exhausted, but he tried not to let it show. He closed his eyes for a moment, only to be nudged awake by Cal, "What?"

"You've been asleep for twenty minutes - are you sure you're alright?" His brother looked worried.

Ethan sighed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'm so tired and still a bit sore if I'm honest."

"Oh Ethan..."

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me," he tried to smile again, but this time it didn't reach his eyes.

"But I do worry about you," his brother told him.

They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, "Why did she leave Cal?" Ethan burst out.

Cal sucked in a breath, now he was getting to the bottom of it.

"Do you want the truth?" Cal ventured.

Ethan nodded as Cal sighed deeply, of course his brother wanted the truth, he wouldn't have expected anything less.

"She told me that she..." Cal stopped. He didn't want to tell Ethan the real reason, but his brother was staring at him, willing him to carry on.

"She told me that she didn't think she could cope later on, you know, when..."

"When I wouldn't remember her or when I couldn't look after myself," Ethan finished.

"She thought it would be better to finish things now than wait until later," Cal told him sadly, as he watched his brother's world cave in once again.

"This is it for me Cal," Ethan began.

Cal turned to him, not surprised to see tears glistening in his eyes, "No-one will want me knowing what's to come..."

"Look Ethan..." Cal pulled up. What could he say? Ethan was probably right. Having a degenerative disease such as Huntingtons is not something anyone would take on willingly.

"Ethan, you are one of the best men I know. You're kind, sensitive, caring, - if I'd have been you, I'd have called Alicia all sorts of names, but you just took it on board no matter how much it hurt you. There is absolutely nothing that I can say that will make any of this any easier, but all I will say is that you will NEVER be on your own with this. I promise you that I will not run away from this and I will be with you every step of the way...just don't push me away."

Ethan felt hot tears sliding down his cheeks as he looked at his brother's honest expression. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Ethan actually felt like his big brother was there for him, "Thanks Cal."

Cal let out a shaky chuckle, as he slung his arm around Ethan and pulled him towards him, planting a kiss on his forehead, "I love you Ethan," he wispered.

Ethan closed his eyes, revelling in the security of his brother's slightly awkward embrace, "I love you to Cal."

 **Ok, so the ending got a bit cheesy - so sue me! Ha ha.**

 **I really don't want them to fall out for to long on the show.**

 **I'm sorry to Alicia fans if you think I made her a bit of a 'cow' but I'm sure she wouldn't be the only person to think twice when faced with that kind of future (and I mean no disrespect to anyone who has that looming over them).**

 **I wonder if I'll be struck by any more inspiration any time soon.**

 **Thank you for now. See you soon x**


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